Why?

Why?

It’s so easy to ask

Don’t need to know

The answer on the other end

Just shout it out

Ask it out loud

And then it’s left

For others to answer

To ponder and fret

Why, why, why?

The word now haunts

It swirls in the mind

Because…

And the mind goes blank

Because…

The answer will not wake

From a mind filled with doubt

This word now lingers

Controlling the mind

And then the words begin to flow

The answers take control

But there are so many to choose

And nothing is clear anymore

Because…

And the tongue is stuck

Because…

And the heart begins to drop

The answer isn’t good enough

No words seem right to say

The question cannot be conquered

There’s nothing that will win the day

6/24/15 -- ALJ

One-Way Street

Walking a one-way street alone

Chasing you down without any hope

Of catching up to you

You just won’t slow down

I call out your name

But your head is in the clouds

The others around you chant your name

You gladly turn and smile their way

I try to run faster, but you keep making turns

Back tracking I’m tired, I just won’t learn

It’s a selfish thing, this road I walk

Hoping to get something that you need not

For your world is filled with people and things

I had a need for you to fill

But you don’t need anything from me

Why has it taken so long for me to see?

That even though you take some time

You’re just being nice, just being kind

The question you ask will continue to whirl

In my head, making me think

But you won’t give me a second thought

So I will try to slip away

Not that you will notice then or any day

But I’ve given God my heart

And He will keep it from breaking this time

It’s not worth it to work so hard 

It’s got to be easier than this

So for now, I will disappear…

6/24/15 -- ALJ

Because

Because a relationship involves more than one

And seeing each other in person is more fun

Because I want to see your face when you smile

And maybe get to talk with you for a while

Because I want to hear your laugh and truly have seen

That it’s more than letters on a screen

Because I’m sick of wondering how busy you are

Or thinking about you even when I’m in my car

Because I’ve spent the last months wondering about you

And trying to figure out what I should or should not do

Because my patience is gone and I’m ready, I think

To dive right in and be brave,  I just hope I don’t sink

Because it’s God who has put you on my heart

He did this long ago, right from the start

Because I’m scared to think that I might be wrong

And waiting for an unhappy ending is a sad, sad song

Because I’m waiting and waiting and waiting some more

Just hoping that you’ll come knocking at my door

Because I built that bridge so long ago

And now I’m ready to run across it and not let you go

6/22/2015 -- ALJ

FATHER

Oh, the things you’ve given me

My height and weight

The smile on my face

A sense of humor

And confidence to boot

A chance to sing

And to learn and grow

You’ve built me up

And have let me know

That I am loved by you

Not just on the good days

But even when you are mad

Or when I have been bad

You still love me anyways

But more important yet

And this is something I won’t forget

There’s another Father dear to me

That has sent His son to set me free

And the faith that you share

Shows just how much you care

So on this special day

There is so much more to say

But thank you will have to be enough

For the man who has given me so much

6/21/15 – ALJ

DESPERATION

Some say I must be desperate

And I cannot fully lie

There is a hint of it

That pushes me to try

But not out of blind admiration

It’s just a strong need

To learn who you really are

And if I truly like you indeed

6/15/15 -- ALJ

CLARITY

It’s in that moment

That you have to write it down

Or the words will just slip away

And never again be found

It’s a moment of clarity

When things start to make sense

But it’s only fleeting

And soon will be past tense

So put it down on paper

Or record it in your chart

These moments are certain reminders

Of the feelings of your heart

6/14/15 – ALJ

The Proposal

I’ve been here before

A few times now

Just waiting and wondering

And trying to figure out how

How to ask the question

What I really want to know

But the answer does worry me

Not just if it is a no

For something to end

That which never truly began

I’ve suffered that before

And here I still stand

But to know there’s a chance

And to see how that goes

Scares me a little

Yet I still yearn to know

Now the question remains

How do I ask such a thing?

Will you do the honors?

If so, just give me a ring

6/14/15 – ALJ