Normal Things with Odd Feelings

like sending a text and waiting for a response
the reply and time to wait and see
making excuses and reasons it takes
so much longer, this wait starts to feel great
it's only a message, an answer to a question
but there's more to those words
and you hope and you cling
worried and nervous about such a simple thing
the stress that aligns with this odd feeling
makes you feel not so normal, but it's real all the same

8/29/2014 -- ALJ

With Me

As summer slows and fades to fall

I find myself here, contemplating it all

The life I want versus the life I lead

Not knowing yet what I truly need

My needs are met, that’s safe to say

But still I wonder more and more each day

What are the plans that you have in store?

What’s waiting just behind that door?

Each day I wake, open, and walk through

Ever looking for some guidance from you

To carry me safely down this winding path

As I reach for the happiness within my grasp

Lord, give me patience to find it soon

And never may I stumble too far from you

Within your arms, I choose to stay

Be with me now and each coming day

8/28/2014 – ALJ

Bikes

My first bike was purple; a very girly, pastel purple. I even recall riding that bike for so long one day that my hands started to bleed from gripping the handles so tightly.

I eventually got too big for that bike, right around the time I hit my tom-boy phase.

There's nothing special I remember about that 2nd bike. But the accident I had on it will be one of those moments I'll never forget.

My friend and I were racing down the street when the strap of my bag slipped from my shoulder. As I reached over to pull it back up, the bag slipped further down, falling between the front tire and bike frame, and abruptly stopping the bike. As for me, well, I learned my first Physics lesson that day - objects in motion tend to stay in motion. 

My friend claimed that my flip in the air looked pretty cool. Well...until the landing, which was on my face.

I wore glasses back then. And nearly lost an eye from the impact my face had with the pavement that day.

First time in an ambulance. First time at the ER. First set of stiches.

And yet, despite it all, I still love to ride.

Ltrs to Sheesh - 7/29/2014 - ALJ

An Idea

I fell in love with an idea
It's really not you
So though you won't fulfill it
Doesn't mean the idea goes too

I fell in love with an idea
And who knows if I'll find
The person to fill
This void in my mind

I fell in love with an idea
And it won't be the last
I'll keep looking for it in the future
Won't just keep it in my past

I fell in love with an idea
And though it feels wrong today
I might not need that idea
I can live without it, either way

I fell in love with an idea
And I'm not the only one
You've had ideas as well
I just wasn't the right one

7/13/14 -- ALJ

Some Dreams

Some dreams won't die, instead, they continue to stare you straight in the eye. You can't walk away, no matter how hard you try. Any Attempt to leave it behind is made futile in your mind. It haunts your days and fills your nights. With visions and longings you just can't fight. Your one desire is what it becomes. Drowning out all others or passion or fun. Some dreams won't die. No, they live on evermore. Taking over your life like never before.
6/18/2014 - ALJ

Jars of Clay

Today our pastor talked about being vessels; specifically looking at 2 Corinthians 4:7 - ^"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

[Side Note - The phrase 'jars of clay' sticks out to me mainly because of the band. My favorite band, in fact. They're celebrating 20 years this year.]

Our pastor talked about how we are all weak vessels, but that our contents are strong. That we are filled up and then are poured out upon others.

It made me think of some clay teapots that were over 400 years old. And the only way to maintain them was to continue to make tea in them. That without their continued use they would dry up, crack, and break.

Some days I feel like a dried up teapot. Or worse, just a lump of clay still waiting to be turned into a teapot or whatever God chooses to mold me into, but I digress.

My prayer for you and the staff this week is that you may all be jars of clay. That God will fill you up and that you may pour out on the children this week His love, His strength, His mercy, and His grace. 

Ltrs to Sheesh - 6/15/14 - ALJ

Round Lake

Over the years, I have visited many great bodies of water - Lake Michigan, the Atlantic & Pacific Ocean, and the Mediterranean Sea.

Yet none of them will hold the memories I've had at the waterfront of Round Lake:

 - the joy of taking the swim test that first summer

 - the thrilling horse ride down to the lake

 - our futile attempt to find Dave's glasses after he jumped off the dock

 - the starry night sleeping on the beach during H.S. week

 - the many Staff/Camp Picture days

 - and the wonder of praise and fellowship during beach campfires

It may not be a grand body of water, but these moments are priceless.

Ltrs to Sheesh - 6/12/2014 - ALJ