SUNSHINE

You were born

To tend a garden of flowers

To help them bloom 

And watch them grow

No flower unwanted

No flower over looked

But too much focus

And too much free time

Spent on just one

No matter how it makes you feel

When that flower is gone

You will come to see

That your garden has gone empty

The others have died away

So please don’t fret

But I’m afraid that as of yet

You will soon find

That you’ve spent too much time

Please don’t get fenced in

By the demands of one flower

It may help you to survive

But it won’t let you thrive

There’s a bouquet of flowers for you

Just across that line

Don’t look back

You can still return there

As a matter of fact

That flower should be able to share

And try not to possess you

There’s no new you

In this very new place

Just the You that you are

And how you can be that

In this space

So though life may shift and change

The essence of you is very much the same

Don’t let your garden whither

And those flowers you hold dear

I know that’s very hard

When you’re not as near

But you were born for more

Than a one flower life

Please look at your world

Though it may feel tiny sometimes

There are flowers everywhere

That need your sunshine

Your joy

Your care

It’s just hard to see

When the moon is there

Casting shadows over everything

2/4/19 – ALJ

FADE

Unable to bottle the feelings deep inside

It’s just not fair

Why do I care?

Why do I demand so much

It’s not mine to claim

Your attention

My shame

For not just letting it go

And moving on

It was fun

It can still be fun

How do I make this fun?

Time to just fade into the background

11/12/18 -- ALJ

HATE TO LOSE

The news, it hurts

And the choices you make

To stay away

Makes me said to say

That I care

Overcome with disappointment

Loneliness overtakes the joy

And reality sets back in

Too far away

Our relationship isn’t meant to stay

The same

And the changes change

I’m left with only memories in the end

And I wish I could be

Just happy

But it hurts to care

And I try to wish it away

The pain of never first pick

And the relationship you choose

Leaves me with doubts

And fear

That you might be wrong

That you might be right

But neither outcome

Would I choose

11/12/18 – ALJ

Onna Lou

- W -

Background

How my heart is hardening

With the heavy weight of grief

Of the realization

That I gave so much more

That I felt so much more

But it landed in an empty pit

With indifference you respond

And the pain strikes deep

I have no claim to make

Just the family we share

For years I have looked to you

You once helped make me strong

But even as the years shifted and changed

I have always resided in your background

And there I shall remain

3/26/18 – ALJ

Just Before Close - Short Story

I glanced at the clock. With only five minutes left before close, I was less than pleased to turn and see a potential customer hastily striding toward the shop door. Putting down the mop, I took a deep breath, willing myself to smile as she entered. “Hello.”

“Hi.” The lady replied, obviously in a rush. “Sorry, I know you’re closing soon. What’s easiest for you?”

Taken a back, I arch a brow, “Drip coffee?”

“That sounds great!” After pulling off her gloves, she retrieves a blue wallet from her shoulder bag.

“$2.05, please.” I say, taking her reusable cup from the counter. “Do you need me to leave room?”

“Yes, please.”

“Do you take milk or cream?”

“Cream please.”

There’s just enough liquid left to sufficiently fill the cup. Back at the counter, I set down the cup and bottle of creamer after which the lady hands me $5.05 in cash. “Perfect. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for asking what’s easiest,” I say with a genuine smile on my face.

After handing her three dollars in change, she begins to rattle on with an energy that would contradict her need for any more caffeine today. “Oh, there was no way that I could have asked you to make anything that complicated just before close. I’ve been there. Not in a coffee shop, but you know, I’ve been there. I just really appreciate it. When my GPS told me that you were closing at 7, I was afraid I wouldn’t make it in time. And I needed this. Just to get through my show tonight.”

She popped on the lid as I walked back to my mop and bucket. A couple coins dropped in the tip jar before I heard her call out, “Have a great night!”