Balance Beam

Often at times, there’s a struggle inside

A part of me that can’t sit still

It squirms and it wiggles

Antsy to move on

To bigger and better things

But then there’s this blob

That won’t move at all

And sits and digs its heels in

Stuck like a lump

No changes will it make

It’s just too much work

To balance them both

And figure it all out

What to change and what to keep same

It’s an endless task

To fulfill each act

Like walking an endless balance beam

9/18/14 - ALJ

Complexities of a Simple World

Complexities of a simple world
the struggle to slow down
as idleness turns round and round

Enjoy the moments we have
take them all in
never knowing which will be our last

Be prepared for everything
but expect nothing in the end.

Why do we fight so hard
for a battle we cannot win?

What is the purpose of it now
after we leave it all behind?

Will we ever know the final meaning
or ever truly understand why?

We've made this life harder than before
the simple complexities that hold our lives in place
only make it that much harder to bear

Let's go back then to the beginning
when there wasn't such excess.

Rules and challenges, it was all about the day
and just getting to the next and not looking back
but so many worries are up ahead

And so the simple becomes boring and old
we're never satisfied.

Our lives can seem meaningless
unless we capture those moments;
But too much time spent staring and reliving
brings nothing good in the end.

We rely on others to bring us joy
and tell ourselves we'll be happy with them;
Yet they're struggling too in the same ways
just to keep afloat with a smile on their face.

While we try to cling, we eventually drown
pulling each other just further down.

It's an endless cycle that we're swimming in
as we swirl the drain
falling towards a bitter, lonely end

We need someone outside to pull us up and out
one great enough to fill us with joy
though the world despairs

He's reaching out
and He's got ahold of you.

Just don't pull away.

9/10/2014 - ALJ

Wonder

These are the times when I sit and wonder why

When the world seems so lonely and cold

But many options that I have to choose

It doesn’t make a difference without you

I sit and ponder it all over again

Why am I so alone while the world is paired up

When my friends have so many things to do

Growing older I see many younger than me

Find those to spend quality time

Time to waste away together

I yearn for it so though I may have to accept

That your plan for me is not to be loved

By a man all my own to have and to hold

It’s a hard thing to grasp and to own

That I may never be loved by a man

Though alone I may be, unloved I am not

But it’s hard to feel the hugs that are sent

From a Father from above that loves me it is true

Yet this body I reside in craves an actual touch

To be held and caressed and to be loved no less

Lord I pray and I find that I’m sad and resigned

To ever be fraught over this

The wish for joy and the hope for marriage bliss

It’s not a guarantee, maybe not for me

But I’ll pray every day that I’ll feel your love

9/9/2014 – ALJ

- Date Unknown -

capture these moments
better write them down
if not then
they may never be found
- ALJ -